IBCN Testimony Webpage
(Click on links for Chinese translations one and two.)

Name: Bruce Bawcom (Design/Validation Engineer)
Campus: Oregon

Q: What was your life like before your knew our Lord Jesus?

  My family raised me in a strong Christian culture. We attended worship in a growing church in southern New Mexico, and grew up learning much about the Bible and about God and Jesus. The Holy Spirit was not emphasized as much, and so I was led more to rely on the Bible for guiding my life. As I was saved and baptized when I was only 9 years old, I have a little difficulty remembering now what my life was like before I accepted God's grace. However, there was a troublesome, rebellious period of my life some years after I first was born-again when I rejected the lordship of Jesus Christ and the truth of God's Word. Only by God's grace did I survive that period of life as I delved into a initially exciting but progressively darker, diabolical, and pointless life of hedonism.

  Initially I came to know Jesus Christ as Lord because of the wonderful love with which He had blessed my immediate and extended family. Not to say there weren't problems (and that I didn't contribute my part, eh?), but the Lord had pretty well saturated my family with strong bonds of love and kindness. There was also the Word of Truth that I heard regularly through Bible class and Sunday sermons. And while I can't remember all my thoughts and considerations at 9 years of age, I do clearly remember this sudden, shocking realization that I had sinned, and that it was not just an issue with my family but with God. I didn't understand the Spirit, but I did know that I needed forgiveness and that it would only come by accepting God's grace, recognizing Jesus as the Son of God and being baptized for the forgiveness of my sins. So I confessed Christ, was baptized, and over the next few years started learning what it meant to follow Jesus.

  However, as I've already mentioned, I turned away from Jesus and rejected His grace for about 4 years. I could blame several factors, like a weak support group of other Christian youth or lack of stability with my family moving around every few years, but it really came down to my wanting more fun and more friends. That started my junior year of high school and carried on until my sophomore year of college. At that time, my Dad accepted a contract that caused him and Mom to move to east Texas, so I had to find a place on my own. I was going to the university in my home town in New Mexico. Anyway, very quickly I was forced to face the fact that the lifestyle I had so wanted to live on my own wasn't very livable. Too much partying and "dissipation" leaves little money for necessities and little mind-power for work and study. I had a couple of very weird, almost mystical experiences, but essentially God raised my head out of the spiritual muck I was in, helped me look around to see what I was really involved in, and then let me flop back down in it. I flailed around in it until I realized I couldn't find any reason for peace or hope on my own. Once again, I realized that I was sinning, and this time was worse as I was ensnared by my own cognizance and foolishness. I needed forgiveness, salvation, and power to overcome, and none of that was going to come from me. So I gave it all up in December of '87. My family was very encouraging and supportive and helped me re-center my life on Jesus Christ. But most of all, Jesus Christ welcomed me back with open arms and, frankly, a lot of tough love.

Q: How has your life changed since knowing our Lord Jesus?

  While I was in my earliest time of walking with Jesus, He gave me purpose and blessings of love and encouragement in my faith. He helped me learn much from the Bible, and He helped me grow in service. Looking back on that time, I now see myself as being fairly naïve and superficial in my walk with Christ.

  Ever since the Lord restored me by His grace and ever-lasting love to His righteousness, though, I feel like the Father has filled my life with happiness and tough growing times. I'd like to say I had the joy of the Spirit through even the difficult times, but I'm still growing in that. But the Lord is faithful, and He is constantly sharpening me against the challenge of circumstances and other followers of Christ. I will try to summarize the areas of my life that God has worked on me the most. The Lord has challenged me frequently to deal with impurity in my thought life. My life as a pleasure-seeker weakened me considerably to temptations of lust and materialism. The Lord has helped me understand His grace more each year which helps me overcome perfectionism. I struggle occasionally with discouragement, even mild depression, and Christ Jesus has helped me push through these times by encouraging me in spiritual disciplines of Bible study and prayer. And what I've found it all boiling down to is being willing to give up myself. More times than I can remember, much less count, I have been blessed in my soul with envigorated faith and hope when I have given time and energy up from my own interests and desires to serve others. This has especially been important in being father and husband in my family, but it has also been a means of God molding my heart in my work and church life. Sometimes I don't do this so well... it is difficult to keep from being selfish at times. But God is patient and persistent, and I am grateful that He keeps loving me.

Q: What God has been teaching you lately?

  God has been really speaking to me about giving up my materialistic ambitions and putting more emphasis on serving God by serving my family. I have wrestled more deeply than I realized would be necessary with temptations to pursue happiness and security in purchasing and having things. Primarily, these two growth areas are coming down to squeezing down our spending habits and enabling my wife, Donna, to stay home and quit working. It may not sound like much, but we have wrestled with whether or not much less how to do this for a few years. Donna had to give up some security she felt in keeping her nursing job for "that little bit extra we need now and then" but actually made use of regularly. I had to give up some investments and curtail my ambitions for sabbatical (for which I'm eligible June 2004) as well as curtail my spending habits. This has gone some better, but I am still rough around the edges about it. God has been teaching me to serve my family in other ways as well, especially in improving my kindness and patience towards my children. I have a strong tendency to be controlling and stern when it isn't necessary, and I can quickly sour the time I have with my children if I'm not diligent in intentionally respecting their independence in our inter-dependence and being patient when they don't jump to task as quick as I would otherwise expect. And as for serving Donna, well, she is a great joy and blessing in my life, and when I give up my ambitions to spend time helping her around the house and in her other activities (speaking to her in her love language of Acts of Service), the Lord enriches our love and gives me great joy. I don't miss my hobbies and interests nearly as much! :)

  Besides all this, I am also working on how I can better witness the Gospel to others. There are friendships at work and in my home and church life that God has placed before me as opportunities to teach the Gospel. I have to admit I am very nervous and shy about this, and it has become harder than I expected to take the steps to set up time with folks and be a witness for Christ. Some folks are convinced of their own version of truth, and others may have some level of language barrier to overcome. And sometimes it is just a matter of being willing to take the time and make the effort despite my fears of rejection, scorn, or inadequacy. But God keeps giving me a glimpse of His long-suffering love for all the people in my sphere of influence. I'll feel like such a child taking small tottering steps in my efforts to be effective in evangelism, but I can tell the Lord is slowly but surely shaping my life to be a better instrument for this demonstration of His grace.

Q: Where is God leading you in life?

  Good question. My long-term goals fall along these lines: 1) My wife Donna and I will reach the end of our earthly days mature and strong in faith and work in the Spirit of the Lord our God, 2) my children will choose Jesus Christ to be their Savior, recognize Him as God incarnate and Lord, and be likewise strong and faithful by the work of His Spirit, 3) my Lord will find my heart and mind ready to work and my integrity and relationships in my local church family strong and deep for Him to be glorified through me as a deacon (servant) and elder (bishop/pastor), especially as the needs of my children change, and 4) this same Savior will use me effectively to plant and nurture the seed of the Gospel of salvation through Christ alone in the hearts of co-workers, friends, and neighbors in the course of all stages of my life. I guess these are pretty general and common goals. I have to admit, though, to not having a clear vision of any particular activity or goal at this time. The Lord has not given me that clarity yet.

Q: What is one of your favorite memory verses? Please explain why.

  I wish I could speak of two passages from the Bible, Phil. 3:7-11 and Luke 9:23-26. Fortunately they both carry along the same theme. So let me quote the first from the pen of my brother in Christ, Paul the apostle (isn't it wonderful to realize Paul is a brother to all who are in the body of Christ!?):

  "But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in the view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and counted them but rubbish in order that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know him, and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead."

  First, this passage encourages me to meditate on the value of knowing Jesus. Most of the difficulty I have in walking with Christ is because I forget and start focusing on what value I see in other things or relationships. When I consider what it means to know Jesus, the swift sure hand of my salvation and the one who can give me joy in every day of my life, then my anxiety, pride, and selfishness are so much easier to resist.

  Secondly, I am reminded here that relative to living for the sake of Christ, all else is rubbish. That is, when I am choosing between what is in service to Christ and what is in my selfish interest (e.g., cleaning the kitchen after dinner when I want to play games on the PlayStation2, or helping with Vacation Bible School at church when I want to stay at home and read), if I think of this passage (often a BIG if, unfortunately 8P), I make the decision to serve Christ more easily and decisively when I focus on knowing Him. This is true love, right?... the intentional and committed act of doing what is best for someone else's sake even when you don't feel like or can expect something in return. I have to admit I haven't yet figured out how to apply this in all cases... I often wonder at the wonderful opportunities God has given for me on my own and with my family in recreation and entertainment pursuits, and it is just difficult to understand how these serve Christ, especially when it is something I do on my own. But as the rest of this passage implies, I am thankful that I do not have to be anxious over living perfect in my righteousness of myself or my works, but instead I can accept how God reveals His will to me day-by-day and helps me grow in wisdom while, in faith in Christ Jesus, God finds me righteous.

  And finally, the passage gives me a crystal clear portait of what goes along with knowing Christ. I can know and experience the power of His resurrection and the meaning in His suffering, and I can die to myself in the same way He died for me (ref. Luke 9:23-26), all the while convinced and certain that in such faith and life I will also share in His eternal life in heaven.